Self Esteem

What is it?

Mind (2020) describe self-esteem as the following:

“Self-esteem is how we value and perceive ourselves. It’s based on our opinions and beliefs about ourselves, which can feel difficult to change. We might also think of this as self-confidence.

Your self-esteem can affect whether you:

• Like and value yourself as a person
• Can make decisions and assert yourself
• Recognise your strengths
• Feel able to try new or difficult things
• Show kindness towards yourself
• Move past mistakes without blaming yourself unfairly
• Take the time you need for yourself
• Believe you matter and are good enough
• Believe you deserve happiness”

How to improve your self esteem.

Mind (2013) recommends these ideas to help boost your self-esteem:

• Do something you enjoy
• Keep busy with paid work or volunteering
• Engage in hobbies
• Try to build positive relationships
• Learn to be assertive
• Look after your physical health
• Physical activity
• Sleep well
• Eat well
• Set yourself a challenge
• Learn to identify and challenge negative beliefs
• Focus on positive things
• Try mindfulness technique

Think positively

Research in positive psychology has shown us that people who know their strengths and use them frequently tend to feel happier, have better self esteem, and are more likely to achieve their goals. Know yours and use them.

 In order to increase your self-esteem, you need to challenge and change the negative beliefs you have about yourself. lmagine your best possible self in a future where things have gone as well as possible, and you have accomplished all your goals. Visualising yourself succeeding in whatever it is you are feeling insecure about will help you be more likely to succeed.

Become more assertive

Leaning how to meet your own needs and be assertive can often be difficult if you have low self esteem. Here are a few tips to develop this skill :

• A good starting point is to begin with “I understand”
• Echo any criticism “I am sorry you feel that….but I need…”
• In any situation, remember your right to: be treated respectfully, to express an opinion, to make mistakes, to change your mind, to ask for clarification, to take the time that you need if unsure with “let me think about this”

Let go of ‘people pleasing’

Being able to give ourselves permission to be ourselves, and giving others permission to be themselves, is a very powerful, yet difficult thing to do, if you lack confidence , and find  yourself constantly worrying about what others think of you. Engaging the support of others, including a therapist, online guidance from websites such as Mind or  Anxiety UK, support groups, motivating  literature and podcasts such as “Let Them” and health care professionals, can all help.

There is so much more out there that you can use to help improve your self esteem. The more you know, the more you can use to help you in your journey

All best wishes

Aileen x

“The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can’t Stop Talking about” 24 Dec. 2024 by Mel Robbins (Author)

https://www.youngminds.org.uk/young-person/coping-with-life/self-esteem-and-believing-in-yourself/ accessed 20/02/25

“How to increase your self esteem”  2013 by Sam Challis for MIND, London